Good morning, dear ones! On this particular Sunday Funday, I had to call in the big guns to beet my hangover – make that mega-hydrate and beta carotene karate chop my hangover. First thing’s first:
What girl stumbles out of bed on a blurry Sunday and hunts for a face mask, her hammer and a small machete? This girl does. I know – how can a gem like me be single?! I digress. Post coconut massacre, I moved on to this bevy of beverage beauties:
Good, strong coffee is nonnegotiable. Green juice is a must, but even I couldn’t pour champagne in it this time. I needed a glass full of pure liquid health: not a Bloody Mary, but an Unmarred Mary. To christen this drink a Mary of any kind is a stretch… but just trust me with this one. This is Bloody Mary’s pacifistic, self-lovin’ cousin… sans tomato juice and excess spice because… gross. Does tomato juice eke anyone else out? If I’m already suffering from fireball whiskey and tequila shot induced reflux (and I am), why invite acid and heat to the party? For me, the winning points of a Bloody Mary are savoriness to balance out the saccharine neon blue Jolly Rancher shot I drank from a test tube (off of a platter manned by a “Shot Girl.” I die.), a detectable celery flavor (my family uses celery salt), and good spice. I’m not big on jalapenos, especially when I’m indisposed, so I used red bell peppers for that feisty je ne sais quoi and ginger for a kick. And carrots… just cuz. I love them and they went with my beta carotene theme.
2 red bell peppers
2 large carrots
Several stalks celery (I went with the whole bunch… but I was thirsty.)
1 1/2 inch knob ginger
Half a lemon
Kale (for every nutrient under the sun)
Had I been at all thoughtful about this, I would’ve added an additional celery stalk as garnish, but I drank all of it before it occurred to me to be adorable. My mind had wandered to more pressing matters – my sudden and raucous hanger.
I cannot tell a lie. I had planned to make sweet potato pancakes – but those take patience. I wanted something hot, gooey, and no fuss. A baked sweet potato sounded like just the ticket, plus the beta carotene in orange foods (not Cheetos) crushes classic hangover symptoms like a real champ – it puts the glow back in your skin, and it lines your airways, digestive tract and liver to form your stunning bod’s first line of defense against toxins. But you don’t need a recipe for sweet potatoes (…bake them.) You need a recipe for the glorious goo I topped mine with.
Pecan Pie Butter
2 1/2 c raw pecans (makes butter fluffy like pie filling rather than drippy as when toasted pecans are used)
1 c roasted almonds
1 T roasted cinnamon (to compensate for the raw pecans/because I bought it by accident.)
1 tsp sea salt
1/4 c maple sugar
1 tsp bourbon vanilla
coconut oil as needed
Process, scraping down sides of the bowl as necessary. 8-10 minutes for spreadable consistency.
Glorious goo, indeed. Plus, pecans contain beta carotene, too, as well as a host of other free radical fighting antioxidants, powerful B vitamins and minerals like potassium and selenium for optimal hydration and thyroid health.
But let’s be real. I eat it because it tastes like pie.
Lots of love, healing and sunshine to you all…and my girl Beyoncé. I plan to crash a Superbowl party for halftime only. I love enthusiasm but I need to do my thang today. You feel me? Are you a genuine football fan or are you in it for the guacamole and Lady Bey like I am? If you do stay home, make sure you have a giant vat of Pecan Pie Butter to keep you company.